For those of you that follow me, you might’ve noticed I disappeared from the internet for about a week or so. And if you follow me on twitter, you might’ve noticed my last tweet went like this:
“Every day with this. Get a life and learn the facts, I’m sick of this shit. Done.”
Yeah, sorry about that.
I didn’t really intend that as a dramatic exit or to take the break like I did. I can assure you that I haven’t quit the videos and I’m not suicidal.
I’ll explain the tweet though. I’ve been in an emotional funk lately and it’s hard to shake. Events from the past year have left a lasting mark on me and it’s something that’s likely to follow me for a long time. It’s easy to say I’m being over-dramatic, to just let it slide, but it wears on you, to hear what an awful person you are for a year, to have people follow you wherever you’ve touched, to try and get that last dig in. It’s hard to have so called vigilantes follow you around to dole out justice for a situation they know none of the facts on, for something you didn’t do.
Around the time all of this was going on, I received six letters threatening to find me, rape me, or kill me. This was coupled with pictures of people being murdered and stamps that said “justice.” Like big damn heroes.
I had to go to the police, my family installed security doors, and I slept with the lights on. You see it doesn’t just affect me. But I’m not sure if I’ll ever escape internet villainy now that rumors have become fact. People believe and hear what they want to believe because it makes things easier on them. And someone has to get the blame.
So it’s been wearing on me lately, and that’s what led to that. But I never intended it as a big dramatic exit, it was only meant to let off steam. Shortly after I said that I was going on a trip out of town, which meant less time on the internet anyway. Combined with a lot of personal feelings I’ve had concerning my work lately I didn’t feel like messaging much anyway.
While I was on this trip, I got some news about a family emergency. I won’t go into details about it, I’ll only say that it was a life or death situation, and one that’s currently still up in the air.
I had to step back for a bit. I didn’t disappear and I didn’t mean to leave people hanging. I can assure you that the kind words people have sent my way, without knowing the situation, have been appreciated. It means a lot to have people care that much. Thank you.
So what does this mean for the videos? Well, not much right now. I plan to have a video shot and edited before Sunday and try to get back on schedule then. Barring life stuff I should be able to put things out regularly again. Life, as always, will go on.
So to end things on a lighter (or possibly more terrifying) note, here’s a crying Pomeranian:
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- megazeo said: It’s inexcusable that you’ve had to deal with all that, Allison. I really hope things pick up for you soon.
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- llfrank said: I really hope things get better for you. I feel like there isn’t much us fans can do to help except to leave you these words of support and encouragement. I wish we could do more. :(
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